vanirus asked:12. hope im not too late for this.
((oh god no these are way too fun to write for that. :D Breaking the Fourth Wall!))
"Hoohoo! And then I go into POKE~mon and DEVOUR all LIFE with my LEGION of-“
The voice was high-pitched, but stern, and cut the King’s sentence clean in half. It came from the rodent of unusual size (a mouse, technically) sat on the other side of the desk. He pointed a gloved finger, harshly, at the image of a Snorlax vomiting out its own endless maw.
"This is a children’s movie, aha! You’ll traumatize them!” The mouse frowned, shoving aside a few sketched-out disembowellings. A pale-skinned teenager was stretched on a bed, and-
"Oh Walt, what’s that?!”
"That’th NOTHING. Ig~NORE THAT." The King snatched the offending images back off the desk, straightening them out before cramming them back into his bag. It glimmered, with glittery pink sequins. "And it’th KING Candy. Tho you know.”
"I’m sorry, aha. It’s just that-“
"Oh don’t WORRY about it, hoohoo, that’th just ONE of my WONDER~ful ideath!” The King slammed another couple of images onto the desk, “accidentally” shoving aside an ice castle inside a snowglobe. “What if I live in a FOR~etht? Hoohoo! Kidth LOVE forestth! I live in THERE, and-and I go around de~VOURING-“
"No devouring!" The mouse raised his hands, and sighed. "Look, King Candy, you can’t be in the sequel because-“
The little man let that word hang in the air, for a long moment. He didn’t blink, and stared into the mouse’s eyes.
"We go for the RE~boot. A new King Candy for a new gener~ATION, ahoohoo!" He grinned. "I become thith DRAGON, hah, with a-a Turbo-TASTIC British ACC~ent-"
"OK never mind a-a RAPTOR?"
"Ya know what? FUDGE it! What if I’m just hanging ‘round living on a BENCH-"
The mouse’s chair squeaked angrily as he stood up, scraping it back against the floor. He glared down at the leaned-over King, until the little man sat quietly back down in his chair.
"You can’t be in the sequel because YOU DIED, aha!”
"Marvel doesn’t count." The mouse pinched the bridge of his nose. "Look, maybe we can bring you back for the third one-“
"I’m living inthide VANELLOPE."
"Well now LOOK BUTH~ter!”
The King slammed his cane on the floor, his own chair scraping back as he glared back. His stare bored into the mouse’s eyes.
"If you think you can take MY FRANCHITHE, hoohoo, a-away from ME-"
The little man was flung out of the Main Street Fire Department, by a couple of bored-looking Stormtroopers, and landed on the cobbles with an unceremonious bounce. He skidded a bit, the puffy pants absorbing most of the shock of the fall.
He shook a furious fist at the window, more for effect than anything else, and stomped off to Cars Land to take some of the edge off.